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Some Small Touches of Princes and Courts
But I willingly give over these stage-players that are such
ingrateful dissemblers of the courtesies I have done them and such
impudent pretenders to religion which they haven't. And now I have a
mind to give some small touches of princes and courts, of whom I am
had in reverence, aboveboard and, as it becomes gentlemen, frankly.
And truly, if they had the least proportion of sound judgment, what
life were more unpleasant than theirs, or so much to be avoided? For
whoever did but truly weigh with himself how great a burden lies
upon his shoulders that would truly discharge the duty of a prince, he
would not think it worth his while to make his way to a crown by
perjury and parricide.
He would consider that he that takes a scepter in his hand should
manage the public, not his private, interest; study nothing but the
common good; and not in the least go contrary to those laws whereof
himself is both the author and exactor: that he is to take an
account of the good or evil administration of all his magistrates
and subordinate officers; that, though he is but one, all men's eyes
are upon him, and in his power it is, either like a good planet to
give life and safety to mankind by his harmless influence, or like a
fatal comet to send mischief and destruction; that the vices of
other men are not alike felt, nor so generally communicated; and
that a prince stands in that place that his least deviation from the
rule of honesty and honor reaches farther than himself and opens a gap
to many men's ruin.
Besides, that the fortune of princes has many things attending it
that are but too apt to train them out of the way, as pleasure,
liberty, flattery, excess; for which cause he should the more
diligently endeavor and set a watch over himself, lest perhaps he be
led aside and fail in his duty. Lastly, to say nothing of treasons,
ill will, and such other mischiefs he's in jeopardy of, that that True
King is over his head, who in a short time will call him to account
for every the least trespass, and that so much the more severely by
how much more mighty was the empire committed to his charge. These and
the like if a prince should duly weigh, and weigh it he would if he
were wise, he would neither be able to sleep nor take any hearty
repast.
But now by my courtesy they leave all this care to the gods and are
only taken up with themselves, not admitting anyone to their ear but
such as know how to speak pleasant things and not trouble them with
business. They believe they have discharged all the duty of a prince
if they hunt every day, keep a stable of fine horses, sell dignities
and commanderies, and invent new ways of draining the citizens' purses
and bringing it into their own exchequer; but under such dainty
new-found names that thought the thing be most unjust in itself, it
carries yet some face of equity; adding to this some little
sweetenings that whatever happens, they may be secure of the common
people.
And now suppose someone, such as they sometimes are, a man ignorant
of laws, little less than an enemy to the public good, and minding
nothing but his own, given up to pleasure, a hater of learning,
liberty, and justice, studying nothing less than the public safety,
but measuring everything by his own will and profit; and then put on
him a golden chain that declares the accord of all virtues linked
one to another; a crown set with diamonds, that should put him in mind
how he ought to excell all others in heroic virtues; besides a
scepter, the emblem of justice and an untainted heart; and lastly, a
purple robe, a badge of that charity he owes the commonwealth. All
which if a prince should compare them with his own life, he would, I
believe, be clearly ashamed of his bravery, and be afraid lest some or
other gibing expounder turn all this tragical furniture into a
ridiculous laughingstock.
And as to the court lords, what should I mention them? than most of
whom though there be nothing more indebted, more servile, more
witless, more contemptible, yet they would seem as they were the
most excellent of all others. And yet in this only thing no men more
modest, in that they are contented to wear about them gold, jewels,
purple, and those other marks of virtue and wisdom; but for the
study of the things themselves, they remit it to others, thinking it
happiness enough for them that they can call the king master, have
learned the cringe 'a la mode, know when and where to use those titles
of Your Grace, My Lord, Your Magnificence; in a word that they are
past all shame and can flatter pleasantly. For these are the arts that
speak a man truly noble and an exact courtier.
But if you look into their manner of life you'll find them mere
sots, as debauched as Penelope's wooers; you know the other part of
the verse, which the echo will better tell you than I can. They
sleep till noon and have their mercenary Levite come to their bedside,
where he chops over his matins before they are half up. Then to
breakfast, which is scarce done but dinner stays for them. From thence
they go to dice, tables, cards, or entertain themselves with
jesters, fools, gambols, and horse tricks. In the meantime they have
one or two beverages, and then supper, and after that a banquet, and
'twere well, by Jupiter, there were no more than one.
And in this manner do their hours, days, months, years, age slide
away without the least irksomeness. Nay, I have sometimes gone away
many inches fatter, to see them speak big words; while each of the
ladies believes herself so much nearer to the gods by how much the
longer train she trails after her; while one nobleman edges out
another, that he may get the nearer to Jupiter himself; and everyone
of them pleases himself the more by how much more massive is the chain
he swags on his shoulders, as if he meant to show his strength as well
as his wealth.
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